Author: lisadiane

8 Weeks Pregnant/30 Days Sober

by lisadiane

Or 6 weeks. Whatever. At least the more time goes by it doesn’t feel as strange tacking on a couple extra weeks.

Even though I’m 9 weeks pregnant tomorrow, I thought I would give you an 8-week update. Honestly, I had such big plans to blog at least weekly. I think about it all the time. I have these great subjects and great pictures, but holy cannoli am I tired. If I could arrange life to nap between 2pm-4pm every day I think I would be fine. But that’s my only symptom.  Other than that, I have just had thoughts over weeks 6-8 and I figured I would share those with you in lieu of symptoms.

  • Riding on Birds/Limes/Spins/Scooters. – For sure one of my favorite forms of transportation.  You can read about my thoughts on them here.  Even though I’ve seen my mom and a friend of mine eat some serious crap on them over the past couple of weeks, I just love those things.  I figure I have to ride them until I start showing because a pregnant lady riding on an electric scooter will probably be frowned upon by most people I blow by.  I did google if the vibrations are safe of going over the bumps and stuff and apparently my little travel buddy is surrounded by a crap ton of amniotic fluid so they are fine.  Plus, don’t some pregnant people run?  That’s probably bouncy.  (You can tell I’m not familiar with the inner workings of “running”)
  • Meet my new best friend. –  It’s too embarrassing to talk about, but I literally couldn’t get through life without my best friend.  You can read about my best friend here.
  • Non-Alcoholic Beer Sucks. – Well, at least from what I’ve tried.  I’ve heard I’m supposed to give St. Pauli Girl a chance, but it’s not on the top of my priority list.  Mocktails though…  Milwaukee really rocks at making me feel like I’m drinking when I’m out with my friends.  Beautiful tasty drinks everywhere.  Detroit was amazing at it too.  I’ll have to blog separately (about Mocktails AND Detroit!) because I have so many delightful pictures of mocktails (and Detroit!).  I’ve been really proud of my friends for continuing to include me in after school activities.  In fact, I get to be the boat captain on the a pontoon ride down the river with some girlfriends on Friday. You might think they are taking advantage of me as a designated driver who is comfortable driving boats, but I see myself as a really cool boating friend! Keep in mind I’m down to about 7 months of freedom and have to live it up before someone arrives that calls all the shots. I want to do ALL the things.
  • Dating while pregnant is turning out to not be a thing. – Can’t say I haven’t tried.  I mean, in my mind I have a very limited amount of time to date the normal way.  *Insert daydream here of a date where a simple drink turns into dinner turns into a long walk turns into a makeout sesh turns into talking for hours until the sun comes up* *Then insert daynightmare of date where a drink has to end because your childcare facility closes as 6 and you hadn’t planned additional childcare for your spontaneous want to keep talking to handsome stranger date and then you have to go on 17 other 1 hour dates over the next 2 years with same guy just to get enough time to decide he’s not the one and you’ve spent a lot of money on childcare figuring that out*  I was going to continue to online date but really couldn’t wrap my head around how to manage the “bait and switch” of dating while pregnant.  I mean, I could put in my profile “I’m pregnant but don’t worry, there’s no father yet and that could be you!”  No, that makes me look psychotic and probably will attract some people but certainly not for the right reasons and I certainly don’t want to have to sort through that.  Dating has become a little more serious in my mind as well because I’m not only vetting a potential partner for myself, I’m now vetting a father for my child and this guy better be DAMN good because my child deserves the best. (Funny I never thought I deserved the best until now? Classic codependent.) I did attend a singles event at The Iron Horse Hotel last week with some friends though.  I had my mocktail in hand and did my thing where I was funny hoping that would attract some fish but turns out my personal brand of super extra with a side of sarcasm combined with the nervous energy I was fostering of hiding a “secret” from the guys I was talking to was not a winning combination.  No dates for me. Not worried though. There’s a guy out there looking for a single mom who is wildly successful (and by wildly successful I mean mildly successful), hilarious and often (always) inappropriate, who loves to travel, do outside things, do inside things, is happy 99% of the time, and displays her personal life for all to see via a very unpopular blog because she doesn’t know how to use technology or social media properly to advertise even though if she did she could probably get a book deal and live out her dream life of traveling and writing while observing humankind in all their different types of habitats for a living. 
  • My skin looks AMAZING. – At first I was 100% convinced I was having a boy because of my lack of symptoms and beautiful skin (apparently girls take away your beauty and make life miserable according to an old wives tale) but then I realize my skin looks this great 100% because I haven’t drank alcohol in over 30 days and I’m chugging water like it’s my job.  *Side Note:  I will not be finding out what I am having because I hate surprises but also like to challenge myself to step outside my comfort zone.
  • My child may come out of me with burst eardrums. – I drive a fair amount for work and normally listen to books on tape… er… I mean Audible but because of my temporary narcolepsy I am no longer able to improve my mind while in the car and now have to focus on my lung capacity and keeping myself awake. So I have been singing at the top of my lungs. I pick one artist or one station and go hard for my hour drive to and from Madison. So, my future traveling buddy will come out well versed in Paul Simon, Miranda Lambert, John Mayer, Hip Hop, Country Music, The Best of Hip Hop and R&B from the late 90’s and early 2000’s, The Best of the 90’s, and Yacht Rock.
  • I need a Night Nurse. – Yes, I’m still sleeping like a rock star.  Actually, sleeping is one of my superpowers.  Apparently, babies wake up every two hours.  I watched this movie called Tully (Just watch this preview) and now I’m hyper obsessed with Night Nurses. Night Nurses basically work 3rd shift and come over at night and take care of your baby while you sleep and clean your house and when it’s time for you to pump or nurse, they bring the equipment or baby to your bedside boob and hook everything up while you remain in REM if you would like.  When you wake up in the morning they are gone like fairies and your house is in perfect order, there’s breakfast waiting on the table, all your laundry is done, and your baby is content.   Despite the fact that they can cost $350-$1000 a night and that is certainly not in my budget.  You can find me at the casino nightly trying to win it big in order to add this childcare service to my life.  A good friend of mine has already offered to come into town from Arizona to night nurse for me for 4 nights as her baby shower gift.  I was overwhelmed with joy.  In fact, this concept is so fascinating to me, that my best friend just had a baby 4 weeks ago and they both weren’t sleeping well, so I went over there at 3 o’clock in the afternoon and told her to go to sleep.  I took care of and fed the baby, she woke up exclusively to pump every 4 hours (and to probably check on her child let’s be honest).  She got in 10 solid hours of sleep, I got in a shit ton of snuggle time.  I left at 7am.  Only thing is I did no cleaning. And I was pretty noisy when I left unlike a fairy. I also left a mess, ate her food and lost 3 pacifiers.  If you need a night nurse, you just give me a call.  I’m all about earning some good night nurse karma right now!
  • I’m sick and it won’t go away. – What the heck is this garbage?  I don’t get sick.  I have an award-winning immune system.  I can even drink the water in Mexico. I mean, who gets sick in summer?  I promise I will never take Sudafed for granted again.  I miss taking the drugs. So it’s been a solid week of a hard core cold and cough.  Annoying.  Someone told me I could take a Tylenol.  I laughed.  I might as well take a standard gummy bear and call it a day.
  • Finding childcare is going to be a pain in my rear. – A. Expensive. B. Inflexible. C. Inconvenient.  Is it too much to ask for childcare that is in my budget that allows for my flexible schedule?  If anyone wants to give me a lifestyle quiz and then take this task of finding childcare off my plate that would be great, thanks.  Apparently, you have to start before conception as well because there are waiting lists years long.  Should have thought about this 10 years ago. Anyone else downtown Milwaukee want to do a Nanny share or that does in-home care?  Or that doesn’t charge too much and wants to just hang out with my kid when I need you to?    
  • I don’t like my future travel buddy being compared to fruit. – So I changed the filter on my pregnancy app to strange things.  Last week my little travel buddy was the size of one of those firework poppers that you throw in the street and they explode.  This week it’s the size of a 2×2 Lego.  Can’t wait to find out what size they are tomorrow!
  • I made my first baby purchase.  –My amazing SIL Natalie send me a link to the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. I had to buy them. I mean, they were on clearance at Nordstrom Rack.  I pretty much had to.  I bought two sizes as well because my child will wear them and love them so much and then years later will be like, do you remember those shoes that looked like Sushi?  I loved those.  And then I’ll be like, well in fact I do remember those and I want to make your wildest dreams come true so here they are in your current size because I knew this moment would come.  And then I win at parenting.  See?  Always thinking ahead.  Super strategic they call me. 
The best dog in the world can’t wait for her new best friend to wear her face on their feet.

And that’s about that for my thoughts! Thanks for joining me on this journey! Look forward to sharing all the things with you.

Lisa

The Two Weeks After Finding Out I’m Pregnant

by lisadiane

Ok, I’m pregnant, now what?

Now I start to learn what that really means. First mind-blowing thing I learned is that the day I found out I was pregnant, I was considered 4 weeks pregnant. Even though I was inseminated 2 weeks before. I mean, I know I’m bad at math, but this just doesn’t add up. Apparently, they start counting on day 1 of your cycle. So hello, today, I’m 6 weeks pregnant! Even though I’m technically only 4 weeks pregnant. #confused (PS, week 4 the baby was the size of a poppy seed, week 5 the baby was the size of an apple seed, and this week the baby is a BLUEBERRY! And it’s making a face this week! Crazy!)

On the first day I found out I was pregnant, week 4 (I know, I can’t and you probably can’t either, but just roll with it) my doctor sent me for blood work to check my Progesterone and HCG levels. Progesterone helps prepare the uterus for pregnancy (which is good) and if the number is low, miscarriage could be inevitable. (I had a 47 and the standard range is 11.22-90) HCG is the hormone that you get when you are pregnant (or you inject into yourself while trying to get pregnant via IUI). My first bloodtest showed me at a 77 (You are supposed to be 50-500 in your first week) She made me go back 4 days later to confirm, as these numbers are supposed to double or more every 48 hours. 4 days later my HCG level was 450. Okkkkkuuuuuur. Girl, I’m pregnant.

I called to make my first appointment where they do an ultrasound. This normally happens around weeks 6-10. They can’t get me in until week 11. I’m all over here like, “So…. what am I supposed to do until then? Just sit around all pregnant and shit?” I can’t believe they just trust me to be doing the right things until then. Thank God for my sister in law Natalie turned Doula who always knows the right thing to say. And the internet. (PS: A Doula is a birth companion or coach who keeps you cool and calm and educated)

An example of Natalie’s telepathic Doula skills: I left my dog with them the day after I found out I was pregnant to go up north with a big group of friends to party on Green Lake for a couple of nights. (FYI, “Party” for me that weekend meant drinking water and watching everyone get ripped, and then leaving a night early because I was tired AF and soooooooo wanted my own bed) On my way out the door, Natalie says, “By the way, you should experience some cramping over the next few weeks, and that’s normal.” Seriously, if she wouldn’t have told me that, I would be FREAKING OUT. So. Much. Cramping.

Speaking of symptoms, I feel great. Seriously, great. The only symptoms I have at the moment are:

-Sensitive Nipples. Yes, I said nipples. I’m sure there are men reading this and giggling because I said nipples. It’s literally my most predominant symptom and the one that reassures me that I’m still pregnant. The rest of these symptoms are just… light.

-Tired AF. But I LOVE to sleep so bring it. I have even taken TWO naps in the the past 2 weeks! Totally unheard of for me. I mean, look how good I sleep at night, why would I ever need a nap? Yes, I’m an insanely good sleeper. But we should also talk about how amazing this sleep app is. It’s been a game changer for me. Sleep Cycle. Download it.

The Sleep Cycle App. Literally the most amazing app I own. I’ll tell you more about it some other time.

-No more snoring and a smaller waistline. Ok, so these symptoms might have more to do with me not drinking anymore, but still, GREAT symptoms!

-Cramps on Cramps on Cramps. This is not my favorite thing because they feel just like period cramps so I’m constantly thinking I’m going to get my period. Apparently right now inside my body, my uterus is stretching and contorting, and building an ADDITIONAL ORGAN (I can’t. I just can’t.) called a placenta to hold the baby. As the baby grows inside, it will just shove all my organs wherever it pleases and the tiny human will take over.

-Not. Hungry. At all. Not mad about it! Don’t forget, I’m still super single so I don’t have that “Your husband will love you no matter what you look like” situation on my hands so I really have to keep my shit tight during this process and not go overboard. Healthy body. Healthy body. Healthy body. I still laugh about this one. (Because it’s SO not me. Girl can eat.) One day, I made myself 3 different lunches because I hadn’t eaten at all that day and wanted to make sure I was taking care of my little travel buddy. I didn’t want any of them. I forced myself to just eat the 3rd meal. It was tomato soup. When it was 95 degrees outside. I don’t get it.

-I’m SO THIRSTY! I’ve never drank this much water in my life. I can’t get enough. Must be ice cold or I’m sad.

The “Cinnamon Tonic” Mocktail from Bodegon

I’ve had lots of energy, I’m not crabby, no nausea (everyone cross your fingers), and I’ve been sleeping around a 95% sleep quality every night. My goal during this pregnancy is to find the best Mocktail in the city (So far Elsa’s, Bodegon, and The Diplomat are in the running.) I’m reading a book my friend gave me called “Expecting 411” which in hindsight I should have read prior to getting pregnant. (The chapter on “Labor” is making me queasy, and I literally had to skip the chapter on “Complications”) I’m using the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” App, and the “Ovia” App. (per my doula, Natalie) I hate the WTEWYE App though because there are all these “chat rooms” and stuff of people due around the same time as you and you get sucked into their madness. So I’m over than one. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Whatever happens, happens.

I’m loving all the support from all the people, thank you. My desperate plea is that you don’t forget to invite me to things just because I’m pregnant. Rent the Runway has a great selection of maternity wear gala dresses and formal events. (I have an unlimited subscription) I’ve also discovered I still have my sea legs so boating is on the table. Keep in mind, I make an excellent designated driver, and I’m the same level of fun sober or not. Promise. I have 7 and a half more months to rip it up alone before my new travel buddy gets here and the rules change. So call me maybe.

Thanks for joining me on my journey!

Lisa

Sushi is tired after reading “Expecting 411”

IUI Round 2.

by lisadiane

Where did we leave off? Oh yes. Day 1 of Round 2. The start of another round, and the start of a 2 week drunk fest. I mean, you can’t blame me for wanting to self medicate! 100% I can tell you that being able to drink was the one good thing that came from not getting knocked up on the first round. Just kidding, obviously exaggerating, but you get what I mean.

Round 2 started very much the same as Round 1. You can read about Round 1 here. The difference with the first two weeks of Round 2 though is that they were very stressful. Way more stressful than the first round. Week 2 of Round 2 in fact was one of the most stressful anxiety ridden weeks I’ve had in QUITE some time. I normally thrive on stress, high pressure, and uncomfortable situations. (You know, sales) But Week 2 stacked stress on stress on stress on stress until I broke.

On Day 14, Insemination Day, my sister in law Natalie insisted that this wasn’t going to work if the magic happened alone in a windowless room again, so she and my two amazing nieces, Ivy (8 months) and Georgia (almost 3) came to give good vibes! Everything about Day 14 was different from Round 1. The room had a window. I had Natalie and my two nieces there. (As well as the NP, Nurse, and Student Doctor again of course) And this time, the sperm were dead.

My Insemination Cheerleader, Ivy, at my appointment sending me good baby vibes

My SIL Natalie really wanted to see the swimming spermies under the microscope like I was able to last time. If you remember, 20 minutes after the first round, they were still swimming like crazy under the microscope! This time, after the procedure, Natalie ran over to the microscope with the doctor, only to find a slide full of dead sperm. When they walked back into the room, I knew something was wrong. They both tried their hardest to convince me that they did everything right with the procedure and defrosting of the sperm, and just simply prepared the slide wrong. In my head though, I was convinced I was full of dead sperm. Making my week of stress climax in crazy.

The next morning, as I was about to explode and run away from home, I forced myself to attend a networking event at my amazing female networking organization, TEMPO, that was about emotional intelligence and mindfulness. It. Was. Kismet. At that moment I knew that if there was any chance there were any surviving sperm in me, they didn’t stand a chance with my stress hormones at the level they were at. So I read the book that the speaker recommended, “10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in my Head, Reduced Stress without Losing my Edge, and Found Self Help that Actually Works”, deleted all my social media apps, canceled all my plans for 2 weeks, and whipped out a few boxes of puzzles to do while I practiced my breathing and tried meditation.

When I started my two week social media hiatus and mindfulness exercise, I was so stressed I couldn’t even take a deep breath in. I literally couldn’t fill my belly with air and exhale. It took days of practice to be able to be able to actually breathe. As the two weeks went by, I focused on surrounding myself with people who loved me and who were completely on board with my baby making process, and was able to completely shut out the background noise.

I spent 2 weeks walking, sitting at Colectivo writing, doing jigsaw puzzles, watching sunsets, exploring downtown with Natalie and the girls. I went to happy hour with friends, ate and drank whatever I wanted without fear of getting “mom shamed” (When you’re as vocal about what you’re doing as I am, people are not afraid to share their opinions of what you *must* do (and not do) in order to get pregnant). Sushi and I went boating a few times with the family, I went to Summerfest with friends. I had SO much more time to relax, breath, and enjoy life without Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. I thought I would be lonely, but plenty of my real people reached out to check on me via text or phone call. (Sidenote: this is really great to know because being a single mom, I’m going to need people to check on me to see if I’m alive before my child learns how to dial 911)

On Day 25, Natalie wanted me to pee on a stick. So I did. And it was white as a ghost. What do you think? Natalie swears she sees a line, I thought she was insane. One thing about IUI is that you shouldn’t test early because you take 10,000 cc’s of HCG in that trigger shot and it can take 14 days for all that extra HCG to get out of your system. When you pee on a stick, it measures your HCG levels. HCG happens when you are pregnant. On Day 26, I peed on a stick again, and nothing. Day 27, I was out of town and didn’t even bother to bring a stick with to pee on. I had cramps and *knew* I was going to get my period the next day.

Sticks from Days 25 and 26. Or as the pros say, “11 and 12 Days DPO (Days Past Ovulation)”

Day 28, I woke up in the morning, was surprised to not have my period. (Hello clockwork uterus, where are you?) I peed on a cheapie dollar store stick (I didn’t want to waste the money on a good one, plus I had only had the two from earlier. Rookie!) and went to let my dog out on the roof. When i got back, I glanced at the stick, and then glanced again. I might have seen a fairly light line on this one. Natalie was convinced. My doctor sent me in for bloodwork and voila! The sperm weren’t dead.

My first positive test on day 28 of my cycle, or day 14 DPO as the pros say

It’s really too early to tell the world, but I’ve put it all out there and I’m a terrible liar so every time someone asks me if I’m pregnant, I can’t lie and I say yes. I’m remaining unemotional about it at this point as I’ve heard so many miscarriage stories and read that 1 out of 2 pregnancies end up in miscarriage. But you know me. If something happens, I’m just going to talk about it anyways! Lisa= No Filter. Anyhoo, Sushi is excited. She even tried on her new baby sister or brothers clothes while she chewed on the pee stick. (Don’t worry, it wasn’t the end I peed on.)

Sushi reading the positive pregnancy test while trying on her new brother or sisters onesie that was a gift from a friend at the Sperm Party

Thanks for joining me on this journey! I’ll keep you in the loop as I find out more.

Lisa