milwaukee girl

Ardent You Glad You Read This?

by lisadiane

Well here’s a first my friends. I’m writing about something I loved in a timely fashion. Little heads up for you, this post is basically a test of how many positive favorable adjectives I know. Ready? Ok.

Ardent. Let’s talk about it.

My new mission in life is to stop going to the same restaurants over and over again. I think there’s enough great restaurants in the city to try a new one all the time! Little personal fact about me… part of my day job is to entertain clients. I feel there’s no better way to break bread aka do business than over food. I have my favorite impressive haunts in Milwaukee: Story Hill BKC, Bavette, La Merenda, Cafe Lulu… the list could go on of these affordable lovely great places that people really love when I take them there. But I know there is more to Milwaukee, and I’m ready to explore.

Tonight, I took a client to Ardent. Where do I begin.

Just a couple of businesswomen out on the town

We did the tasting with the pairing. I took pictures with my new phone, which means you will all be satisfied with the photos for once. *Little side story. Last weekend I was in Florida for a girls weekend with 10 girls in an Airbnb. I’m in the pool, cocktail in one hand, phone in the other, arms raised. Laughing, walking, talking, hit a deep spot, one hand goes down to steady myself, one hand goes up to save whatever I’m holding…. You can see where this story is going. New iPhone. Cocktail was saved, like an idiot. Wasn’t even a good cocktail.

Speaking of good cocktails… did I tell you about the pairings? 9 pairings. Nine amazing different wines… and even a Spotted Cow. The service was incredible. Man with Glasses and Woman with Fiance were uber professional. They explained every drink they set in front of us with the most pride I’ve ever heard someone take in explaining the “why” of something. One time the Man with Glasses was telling us about how the bark was peeled and the grape had skin and I swear I blacked out for a minute.

First round of snacks and tea in upper left hand corner, celery custard in top right, beef with egg and marrow plus cheesy bread in bottom left, and tofu soup in bottom right

Then there was the food. 12. Yes, TWELVE rounds. A couple of them were multiple things so it ended up being 17 different mouth experiences. I wish they didn’t show us the menu after so I could explain my favorites with my own words, but I’ll give it a try. You can also look at the menu they gave us afterwards for a tour of our experience. Or just go there.

Beef from Larry the cow in upper left, potatoes on potatoes with heaven sauce in upper right, the most magical thing that’s ever touched my lips in lower left, and radish wrapped tongue from an angel in the bottom right

Let’s talk about the cheese bread in the bag teamed with the beef tartar with the egg and marrow topping. All these things were from the same cow, Larry. Just kidding, they didn’t tell us his name, but, it could have been Larry because it’s from the award winning chefs’ family farm. I know I’m not explaining it right but it’s something very special. What about the foie gras carrot cone? That was literally the most magical thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. Ever. Or the radish wrapped tongue and cream treat. I. Can’t. Even. I literally died when I ate the potato dumplings with the potato chips on top in the bowl. DIED. DEAD. Or when the dessert round started and I had the coldest, spiciest, most interesting flavors hit my tongue. I was confused, content, scared, thrilled, curious. All at the same time. Or maybe that was the drink pairing talking.

The dessert round. On the left is a trio of bite size flavor explosions, upper right is all the flavors, textures, and temperatures of the world mixed into one dish, and bottom right is french fries dipped in a shake, but in square form.

I want everyone to have this experience in life. EVERYONE. If you have mucho extra casho laying around to spend, or a expense account and a client to impress, go here. Maybe you want to set the bar unreasonably high for a first date ruining first dates forever for the person you take, this is the place. Maybe you’re celebrating your 100th wedding anniversary. This is where you should take your spouse. Maybe you’re naturally rich; you should eat here every night. Maybe you’ve been given one day to live and you’re having a hard time choosing a restaurant. This is it. Maybe you found someone’s credit card laying in the street and you… ok, maybe I’ll stop there, you get the picture.

M&M. Mini Muffins and Menus.

PS: They sent us home with a mini muffin for tomorrow morning, so there’s also that.

PPS: The chefs mom knitted blankets for the back of all the chairs. You know. In case you wanted to snuggle.

My Dear Squatty Potty

by lisadiane

It’s time to talk about the Squatty Potty. I don’t mean to make anyone uncomfortable, but, as Taro Gomi says, “Everyone Poops.”

One of my best friends and her husband got a 2-pack from Costco (they are OBSESSED with Costco) They gifted one of them to me, assuring me it was going to be a game changer.  I should add that she was pregnant at the time, and her husband is a big toilet time fan.  I was NOT a fan of pooping.  I know this is TMI, but pooping made me feel empty?  Whatever.

Now, this is the first I’m admitting this (And they don’t know.  Well, now they are going to know.) but I immediately re-gifted the item, horrified to have one in my possession and embarrassed at the thought of someone seeing it in my home. I mean, just bringing it through airport security home to Wisconsin was like a “uh, hell no” for me.  I’m very particular about my decor, and the thought of adding a large plastic “thingy” that has everything to do with pooping just didn’t fit into my furnishings strategy.

So what happened is they came to visit me in Wisconsin from Arizona. I panicked.  You know, it’s one of those gifts where if they don’t see it displayed proudly, they would ask where it is, and be offended that it was missing from the decor.  You know what I’m talking about.  I mean, my friend would always ask me how I pooped, and how happy I was with my poop, and I lied to her, always saying, “Never Better!” We all have those items we pull out before a friend or family member comes over to *proudly* show because it was a gift, and then promptly return to storage when they leave.  It’s the polite thing to do.

So I quickly went to Amazon, knowing I needed to get one ASAP. I started stressing because there are 2 heights to choose from (7 inches or 9 inches if you care), and I don’t remember the height they got me.  I winged it and chose the lower one and it arrived in time for them to see it proudly displayed in my home.

So I used it. I mean, it was sitting there conveniently hugging my bowl.  And I’m going to put this right here so you know how serious I am, but that baby has never left my sight since. If you have come to my home since then and saw it snuggling my toilet base, you better believe I’m not embarrassed that you are embarrassed for me for not “putting it away before the guests came over and saw it”.  I want to talk about it.  I want to tell you about it.  I want to scream it from the rooftop! This ain’t some dirty pair of undies that I need to shove in a corner, this is a proud and permanent part of my life.

I really don’t want to get into too many details.  I really think you should just buy one and know what I’m going to type.  Because I’m a pretty transparent person and if you’ve made it this far reading I’m sure you want some details; I will say I’ve cut down on TP from the clean wipe it provides, and toilet time is cut down dramatically as things work exactly as they should with no delay, pushing, or question of consistency anymore.

So you know how not unusual or life changing this is, please see how a squat toilet works.  No offense to Kohler and their  optimization of the porcelain throne, but I think a built in stool would have made it the ultimate game changer, not that thin useless base.  Unless they are in cahoots with the Gastrointestinal medial industry and share profits from poor poopers.  Or they wanted people to be able to take a nice long time while on the shitter to read magazines and play games on their phones. Cause I get that. (PS, this is a cool article from the History Channel about why they call it a “crapper” and the true inventor of the toilet)

Ok, I put it out there. Just try it, stop making this weird, it’s a thing.

Love,

The Bandwagon Girl

This is my very own toilet set up. Doesn’t it look great there in front of the toilet? Really adds some layers and dimension to the design.

Lasik. Get It.

by lisadiane

If you wear glasses or contacts, put them on or in right this moment and read this.  I’m here to tell you to get Lasik.  It’s an actual miracle.

I know I am about as far behind the bandwagon as you can get on this one, but I chased that sucker down and jumped on.  *Example of how far behind I am; I told a friend that I was getting it done, and she said she got it 20 years ago when they used knives and not lasers.  Now SHE’S an early adapter.

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